After a four month hiatus, I am currently downloading the patch for World of Warcraft. My giddy anxiousness really cannot be described. I didn’t think I’d feel this way again.

When we de-activated our accounts – hubby and I – it was definitely for a nice long break. But after a month of being without the game, the temporary leave really felt more and more permanent. So much so that one day, in a fit of superiority to be sure, I tore out and threw away half a notebook of hand-written notes, information about my character, gear, professions, obsessions lovingly gleaned from web sources.

During that time, I didn’t think about the game or miss my friends or wonder if someone was keeping the boar population under control in my absence. I didn’t care about the guild or killing the next boss or whether I’d ever see Northrend. And eventually not missing it became a non-issue. Cold turkey quitting seemed to have worked because it was like I had never played. Almost.

So the ultimate question is: what drew me back? Wanting to be myself in a social environment where people were like me.

I’ve been delving deeper into my work environments – getting to know the girlz, having lunch or coffee after hours – and while I think there are potential friendships on the horizon, no one has appeared that talks my language. And my language is complicated – christian housewife turned university student and health-care worker turned MMORPG fanatic with a side salad of a seriously techie husband. I like me, but so far in this big city, I haven’t bumped heads with other women who are into these things. Conversations about makeup and fashion only entertain me so long.

Download almost done now. Come and see me on Sentinels server. I’ll be re-knitting some old friendships, learning how Wild Growth works in combat, LOVING that I can resurrect dead players any ol’ time I please and cutting my character’s hair for the very first time.

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