Sitting in the break room, minding my own business, probably being a little snobby but Ender’s Game is just too good to bother with people I hardly know. When all of a sudden the nurses start talking about statistics. Correction, the nurses start whining about when they had to take statistics and my ears perked up.

I liked statistics when I took it. And I was thankful that it felt like a semi-easy math class compared to other maths I had taken and that it was an easy ok introduction for me back into university after a ten year hiatus.

So when the story they are regaling the breakroom with ends in “Yeah they had to lower the passing grade by ten points in order to get our class through the course.” Man, I really did a double take at who I was looking at.

Two nurses. I see them often. Young and new but still with *the* initials behind their name. My bosses for all intensive purposes when I happened to be assigned to their floor.

One talked of considering getting a tutor but had been prohibited due to the cost. Anywhere from $50 to $100 an hour! Right about now is when I start to wonder how very different the Canadian universites are from those in the States.

Because, man oh man, I did stinking awesome in Stat!!! I thought when I was done that I would consider taking more of that crap. Gosh, I don’t know if this sounds like bragging. It’s the furthest thing from where I am going. Do you guys know me, I wonder? Do you really know me? I am filled with self-doubt. It absolutely oozes out of my pores. I don’t know why really but I walk around with my head down most of the time, jumping like a scared ninny at anyone with the nerve to bark at me.

But after that eavesdropping, I felt like a helium balloon on cloud nine. Hell, all of a sudden I was in charge of cloud nine!

All I could think of was how come I don’t believe in myself?! These guys are sitting here with the same initials and degree that I want and the teachers had to bend the rules to get them there, bend rules that I would never need bent. All I could think of was — I can do it!

and i SO will.

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