I’m overhauling all the ecosystems of our life. Freshening up the actual files to de-folderizing the computer files, digitizing old photos and learning an online task manager, and some time this winter I’ve promised myself that I will complete my recipe archive in Living Cookbook. Sometimes I think I’m a freak. And what in the world would I do if Google ever goes under?!

Partly this is the fault of Gina’s book, but I will admit to always being an organizer. There were weekends when I was a teen where all my free time was spent rearranging my upstairs bedroom to meet some new need or wild hair. The trend continues. Tonight is my weekend off, and Husband wanted to play Halo and I actually said… No. I really did. And I LOVE Halo. (p.s. We beat ODST together on Heroic. Oh man, that was sweet.)

So far tonight, I’ve checked two big tasks off my to-do list over @ Remember the Milk and I feel rosy-cheeked and invigorated. I adore this process. I’m going for two more completions. Wow. And yet, what the hell is wrong with me?

Nothing. I think I am metamorphosic. We are changing. I am changing. Priorities are different and I am allowing myself to let old values go and forcing myself to pay attention to values I still hold dear. Hobbies have come and gone. Most of all, I am a working mom with many demands on my free time and yet still I want it all.

But I think now, today, I have a better idea than ever of what I want most. As if I’m more alive somehow and now I finally thankfully amazingly have control over my own life. I don’t feel muffled anymore or unsure or clueless. I get ideas. I follow through instead of putting them down. Occasionally they don’t work, but even if that’s true, they are always a stepping stone. Gaining confidence. Walking with my head up. I feel in control. Not that life is playdough, but the way I play with it is my decision, my choice. loving, loving, loving it.

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