Where is your Internet heart?
Or, if it was a book…
Where is your Internet heart?
Revisiting online privacy and presence
amidst everyone freaking out about facebook latest changes to privacy, friends leaving facebook and other friends discussing blogging, I’ve come to the conclustion that my loyalties are in the wrong places.
Facebook has been bothering me for other reasons on top of the current uproar. And the pile of stress was so high that I finally recognized it for what it is. A constant flowing stream of updates and applications that have little importance to my daily life. My exuberant reach at the start went way too far. My daughter said it best when she confided: “Mom, I like being involved and busy, but I don’t like doing everything and having no time to relax.” Exactly! Thank God for my ten-year old fount of wisdom.
The deluge coming from Facebook feels just like that to me. Too many people to keep up with. One liners are funny when you post them on a wall, but do they penetrate? are they a building block? do they make a friendship when after years the only thing left is a hyper-link from one insecure social media webpage to another. There was way too much time reading somethings and not enough Skype calls to my girls, my real friends who have been there through thick and thin and who read my blog. Not enough blog writing – you should see the backlog in my drafts! – and expressing and reading and spending time with the people that matter.
So after much hand-wringing – just ask my husband how many times I asked him a question like “what will people think?” or “will they hate me?’ or “should i tell them what i’m doing?” still trying to please – I seriously downscaled my Facebook: chopped my friend list in HALF, tightened privacy settings and removed any information that I do not want totally public.
When I left high school, I made and kept a promise to myself: that I wouldn’t feel obliged any longer to keep in contact with people just because there were the only game on the block. Facebook changed all that and put me right back in 1995, a pleated plaid school skirt standing in front of a baby blue locker absolutely covered in pictures of people who don’t call me on the weekends. Sheesh, why did I do that to myself?!
Where is my Internet heart?
Where my real one is. Right here. And from now on, my online presence will not be what Zuckerberg wants. It will be what I want. And I like Twitter better anyways.
ps. In case you haven’t heard… http://www.quitfacebookday.com/
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Here! Here! I couldn’t agree more. I’m only friends on fb with those I want to be and because of their recent changed, I’ve tightened my settings as well and removed everything except my name and about me. Nothing specific. I keep it because there are a few friends who don’t live in NJ any longer and we use it to message back & forth and I’m alright with that. I like the status updates thing and check in maybe once a day. Good for you friend!
I love that photo. (just sayin).
I’m a drive by face booker, but I stay mostly because it’s an occasional tie line, for me, to people in my life I’d really like to see but a true connection might be too intense. If that makes sense in any way. So we fb instead and can be “in touch lite.”
Blogs and twitter feel more personal because they are 1:1 ratio and offer more opportunity for honesty, to me anyway.
I have never had a Facebook and I’m good with that. I keep in contact with the people I want to keep in contact with… always have for years and years now… and so I figure if we aren’t in contact now then we aren’t meant to be.
@holli — no facebook? wow, good for you. because of my experience, i see that as really courageous.
@teri — i agree with the honestly bit. like you said in your blog’s comments, i feel like i know you guys and you know me way better than people i work with. all we talk about on night shift is food anyway. rofl
@jo — for me, the big lesson in all of this is to never forget that what you choose to put out there is YOUR choice. that’s why i disagree with how facebook is handling our information. i got sucked into the hype and finally thankfully wonderfully realized that i’m better off someplace else. and i don’t have to worry about what the cool kids are doing because they are reading my blog and i’m reading theirs!